Last week I mentioned I was going try to swing dance again. I went and though I had a good time I was a little rattled. Before my MS I used to go quite often but since my diagnosis I have only been three times now. This last time my legs were not cooperating well. It was the first time the MS has really shaken my confidence.
A friend of mine who came as well asked if I was going to go again. I hesitated to say yes. Among some of my personal hangups is I hate if for others to see me in the beginning stages of learning something – which I am essentially having to learn to dance over again. On top of that I have a condition that unless someone knows about it I simply come across as uncoordinated or drunk even. That makes it hard for me to want to go back.
Thinking about my shaken confidence I thought about the Tacoma Narrows bridge. You probably have seen the video. If not take a look.
The bridge was designed in such a manner that the above video was eventually going to happen. Though it looked good and lasted for a little while eventually the inadequacies of the design caused failure. it was not designed to withstand the wind pressure or to allow the occasional shaking. It’s failure was inherent in the design.
Our confidence is a lot like the Tacoma Narrows bridge. If the design is flawed it will eventually break the desire. Many people pour their energy into extrinsic rewards – money, fame, and image. These may last for a while but they are not built to withstand pressure or shaking. It is the intrinsic values of personal development, community, and giving back that are the backbone of a sustainable confidence. Those three are designed to withstand outside pressure and the occasional shaking.
So, will I go back to swing dancing? I will. It may not be for a few weeks but I will go back. Because rewards and values are based on my inward desire to be better, to be part of a community and to help others as they first learn – because of these my confidence, though shaken, will not break the desire.
Attempt it. Chance it. Try it. Get to It!